Nope. We use a CNC mill for carving for shape, but all glue-ups, sanding, painting, finishing, and design are done by humans. No lasers, no robots, just elbow grease.

Already-designed carved pieces usually take 4–6 weeks before shipping. True custom work, photo-based pieces, major design changes, portraits, memorial pieces, and larger custom builds usually take 6–8 weeks before shipping. Fragrance items usually ship in 2–3 business days. We work first-in, first-out because chaos still needs a line.

Yep—orders over $50 get free shipping. Under $50? Sorry, small potatoes still pay for postage.

Yep. Designs, sizes, wood type, or paint color? Just ask. If it doesn’t involve a unicorn or time travel, we’ll make it happen. Actually, we can do unicorns too!

Custom orders have a 24-hour grace period. After that… maybe. If we haven’t started carving, painting, and finishing yet, we can try. Once we start, it’s basically
immortal.

Yes. We offer wholesale and bulk orders. While we won’t usually carve a thousand
tiny “World’s Okayest Employee” signs, large enough orders are absolutely
welcome. Email us and we’ll discuss the details.

Kind of. We vend almost every weekend in the summer from our 1963 TravelEZE
Camper-turned-boutique. In winter, we haul it inside for shows. Dust, sawdust,
and paint smell included.

All sales are final because most of this stuff is made-to-order. If shipping tries to murder your order, contact us within 48 hours with photos of the item, box, packaging, and order number.

Close. Wood is a diva—it moves, has knots, and does dumb stuff. Each piece is one-of-a-kind, signed, dated, and stamped. Colors and size may vary slightly.

Usually listed on the product. Want something different? Ask—we can quote pretty much any size.

Locally sourced hardwood. Species vary, and each one is unique. See #9 for wood diva behavior. Want something specific? Just ask.

They come with attached hangers. Garage, man-cave, cabin, or above your desk—you’re in charge. There are some exceptions for our outdoor signs.

Gentle. Not too much water. No magic spells. Basically, don’t leave it out in the rain unless we made it to do so.

Yep. Hand-painted, so slight variation is part of the charm. See #15 if you need
color matching.

Yes. Email us. If it’s possible in the real world, we’ll make it happen.